Don't settle for self-sabotage: The pain and purpose in waiting
Impatience is toxic to promise fulfillment
Many plans and purposes are delayed, thwarted or aborted because of a failure to wait.
Patience was never my strength.
And while I have come a long way in this area, by the grace of God, being asked to wait is always one of the biggest tests I can be given - especially in the transition between the seasons of life.
I went through a stage a few years ago where I had countless dreams about waiting - airports, delayed flights, hotels - all of which were the Holy Spirit speaking to me about transition and aligning with His timing.
My impatience has been costly.
It has prevented me from being ‘in the moment’ - those times when the Lord wanted me to focus on what He’s doing today while I am trying to rush in to tomorrow, or where I allowed myself to be robbed of the enjoyment of relationships and experiences because of an inability to be present.
Most importantly, it has caused me to settle and self-sabotage for far less than the fullness of what was available to me.
Culture conditions us for instant gratification
It is hard to avoid getting infected by today’s culture of instant gratification.
We’re conditioned to chase those immediate dopamine hits - the average American checks their phone 344 times a day, with an endless stream of notifications, 15 second videos and a buffet of content at our fingertips.
With a tap of our devices, everything we want is delivered to us, often within seconds - 60 percent of US consumers now expect same-day delivery, according to a McKinsey report.
56 percent of Gen Zers have used ‘buy now, pay later’ services (but many admit they can’t cover the total payment in full), and US credit card balances hit an all-time high of $1.37 million in late 2024.
Meanwhile, the US personal savings rate has fallen from 20 percent in 2020 to less than five percent in 2025.
Why would we wait for anything?
Born of the flesh or the promise?
But this isn’t just a modern day problem.
Even Abraham, ‘the father of faith’ himself, wasn’t immune from failing the waiting game.
In Genesis 15, God made a covenant with the 75 year old, promising an heir and more descendants than he could ever count.
But 10 years later, the elderly Abraham and Sarah (then known as Abram and Sarai, for simplicity let’s just call them their latter names) still didn’t have a son, and they were tired of waiting.
So they tried to obtain the promise themselves, by their own effort - we know the well told story that Sarah offered up her maid, Hagar, to her husband, and Ishmael was born.
Despite being the seed of Abraham and having a multitude of descendants, Ishmael was not God’s promise, and the legacy of human effort would be clear on his family line - wild, independence and marked by conflict.
The Lord in his goodness would reaffirm his covenant with Abraham and the true promise, Isaac, would later come, 25 years after the initial word was given.
In the New Testament, Paul makes the distinction between Abraham’s two generational lines clear, self versus Spirit, as a lesson for us today.
'... he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise' - Galatians 4.23
Wait for the promise, or settle for mediocrity
Like Abraham, we’re all prone to ‘birthing Ishmael’s’ due to our unwillingness to wait on the Lord.
And the problem with ‘Ishmael ideas’ is they don’t usually die easily, they leave us with something worse - a settling for the mediocre.
For me, these have been the self-propelled, inferior versions of God’s promises, which are really just my rushed, badly drawn images of the real thing.
And the pathway of compromise often leads to a death by a thousand cuts - a slow bleed of time and resources, as I try to manufacture my future in my own strength.
What is born of the flesh must be sustained by the flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is sustained by the Spirit.
The critical process of waiting
Abraham wasn’t the only key biblical figure to wait decades before the fulfillment of promises.
40 years passed before Moses led the Israelites out of captivity, David had about 15 years between being anointed King of Israel and taking the throne and Joseph navigated 13 years of hardship between his prophetic dreams and becoming Pharaoh’s right hand man.
Waiting is not just normal and expected, it is essential.
God isn’t slow, and He hasn’t forgotten, He is preparing us to carry the promises and purposes of our lives.
In the waiting process:
Our hearts are tested and purified.
Every self-based motive is exposed in the waiting. Our false sense of purpose and significance is flushed up and out.
We surrender and submit.
After laying down our own plans, we yield fully to the Lord, where He becomes more important than promise or plan.
We come into alignment.
We align with the will of God, which includes His timeline for the fulfillment of his words and promises.
There is a greater glory for God.
When we wait, the fullness of God’s plan is made manifest, and He receives the greater glory.
In the story of Lazarus, we see Jesus wait to open up a greater glory.
'When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe. Nevertheless let us go to him.” Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.” ' - John 11:4,6,15,40,42
Submitting to this process is essential, and in His goodness, God will not release us into His promise until we are prepared and ready to sustain it.
Psalm 37: A playbook for waiting
We often think of waiting as passive, where we sit around counting the minutes, hours and days for the breakthrough or season shift to come, but this is not the biblical understanding.
I’ve looked to Psalm 37 as a playbook for ‘waiting well’, and there is gold to be found in every line.
The first key from the psalm is identifying what, or who, we are supposed to be waiting on - not our own skill or resolve, not others, not circumstances, but the Lord.
Then we need to define ‘waiting’ rightly.
As Bill Johnson teaches, to wait in Psalm 37 means to ‘lie in wait’, a position of proactivity, as if one is setting up an ambush.
Throughout the entirety of the psalm, we are taught how to posture our hearts - in delight (worship), trust and rest, while avoiding ‘fretting’ (worry) and anger.
We are warned to not compare ourselves with those who may appear to be prospering, even through evil, and instead continue trusting, doing good and remaining steadfast.
'Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, And wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.' - Psalms 37:1-3
The Psalm also teaches that waiting on the Lord leads to receiving an inheritance, instead of earning wages for our work - we must remember the promises are a gift, it isn’t something we could earn through our effort.
'For evildoers shall be cut off; But those who wait on the Lord, They shall inherit the earth.' - Psalms 37:9
'Wait on the Lord, And keep His way, And He shall exalt you to inherit the land; When the wicked are cut off, you shall see it.' - Psalms 37:34
How do we respond?
We are challenged to get proactive in the waiting, and there are a few key ways that I am engaging in the process.
1 - Recognizing there is a future after failure.
Firstly, I remind myself that failure isn’t fatal.
In the same way that Abraham’s Ishmael story didn’t prevent him from receiving the fullness of the promise, God’s word remains true for my life even if I have fallen short of the mark in the past.
2 - Committing my ways.
I want to ‘commit my ways to the Lord’ (Psalm 37), surrendering to the waiting process outlined earlier in this article, allowing the testing of the heart and re-aligning with the Lord.
3 - Holding on to the promise.
As time goes by, it is easy to forget, it is easy to settle and seek the more comfortable, but lesser thing.
I must constantly remind myself of the bigness of the God dream for my life, and keep that vision in front of me.
4 - Waiting with intentionality.
I no longer want to sit back and watch the clock, I want to be poised for the promise, positioning myself through prayer, meditation and responsiveness to the Spirit.
5 - Refining focus.
Allow the waiting process to refine me, and strip me back to the core of my identity and purpose.
6 - Embracing hope.
Hope is the joyful anticipation of good, and there is so much good on the other side of the waiting!
I can experience that joy today, even as I wait for the shift.
Actions
Go deep in the Word. The Bible is filled with divine insight on waiting, and as a starting point I recommend a line by line study of Psalm 37
Engage with the scriptures, pray out Psalm 37 and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any areas of your heart that are blocking or slowing the waiting process
Repent, if necessary, for following your own path in the flesh, and submit your waiting process fully
Ask the Holy Spirit for a specific, first step to re-start your waiting process the right way
Meditate on the promises and prophetic words that you’ve been given with a grateful heart, and increase your hope!
Prayer
You might like to follow the prayer below, or similar.
Jesus,
I thank you for the perfection of your waiting process, that it is divinely designed to prepare me for the goodness that you have in store for me.
I repent for the times where I have settled for less, and chosen the way of the flesh instead of the Spirit (if any specific examples come to mind, name them).
But like the story of Abraham, I thank you that today you re-affirm your promises to me, and I am so grateful.
I give myself fully to your waiting process, and I ask for your grace to lean in to it.
Show me your way, lead me and guide me back to your face, first and foremost, which is my number one pursuit beyond anything else.
I thank you for all that you are doing deep within me, in this transition process.
In your name I pray, Amen.
Read previous posts from the Waypoint series on transition:
4 - The war on rest
3 - Partial obedience vs whole-hearted commitment
2 - Lordship: Who is leading your life?
1 - Grace for the space in-between
And you can read a little more about how the Waypoint journey started.